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Monday, October 17, 2011

Believe it or Not

I was excited when I first heard heard about the Implanon birth control implant.  It seemed like a perfect fit for me.  I got the implant, and I was very happy with it.  Earlier this year, it was time to get a new implant put in.  That's when the trouble started...

They could not find the implant! Four people searched for it.  I was asked if I had been messing with it.  I hadn't.  The only thing I was guilty of was taking the damn thing for granted.  I used to check for it every day when I first got it, but after a while, I became complacent and forgot about it.

I was told that they could not put a new one in without pulling the old one out.  Then I was told that there was no way to find this thing using an xray because the first generation of the implant has no radiographic capability.  I was told that Implanon representatives recommended using an ultrasound to find it, but that the machine would have to function at a minimum of 15 gigahertz to pick it up.

So here I find myself in the waiting room of Scott & White Hospital here in lovely Temple, Texas.  Metroplex and Fort Hood don't have the imaging capabilities needed.  I'm wearing a hospital gown and jeans.  At least my toenails look nice!

Surrounded by pregnant women who are staring at me in puzzlement, I'm called to the exam room.  Long story short, the tech couldn't find my implant either...back to the drawing board!

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