Educational Idiocy

One of the things I have been trying to do all year is get my son the help he needs. If we were in the Miami-Dade School District (4th largest in the country,) this would not be an issue. But we belong to KISD. I have never seen a school district as backward as this one. Everyone at the disrict level seems oblivious as to what resources and services they provide, and my child's school, which at one point was supposed to be a top school, has gone to hell in a handbasket these last two years.

The last parent/teacher conference I had actually focused on my being told that it was a perfectly valid educational strategy to allow my son to get out of completing his schoolwork if he got frustrated. For a minute, I was convinced that I would hear the Twilight Zone theme music and that this would all be a horrible nightmare. Unfortunately, reality hit home when the principal agreed with the teacher! (The principal rates this particular teacher's evaluations; maybe she didn't want to look like an ass...)

I am completely against this philosophy for a number of reasons. The most obvious of these reasons is that since when has it been acceptable to weasel your way out of things? There are plenty of things out there over the course of a person's lifetime that will frustrate them; do we really want to teach our children to be quitters and not hold them accountable for both their failures and successes?

I am of the opinion that teachers are not of the same caliber as they were when I went to school. I'm thirty, so it wasn't in the Jurassic age or anything like that...it's just that so many teachers only seem to want to discuss their salaries and their benefits; there is definitely not as much pride or any dedication left in the profession as there once was.

In case there are teachers reading this, I would like to point out that I am a parent who highly respects teachers, and I am available by phone or by email any time a teacher needs or wants to reach me. I am highly involved and interested in my children's education, and I appreciate the work that most teachers do. I don't think that a few crappy teachers define the profession, but I do think they help make the profession as whole seem greedy and self-serving.

I think it's a sad commentary on the state of society when professional educators can get away with espousing such a strange and erroneous ideology as my son's teacher and his principal. Luckily, there's hope; this frame of mind does not seem to be pervasive...yet.

Losing It (the weight, that is)

Today I woke up to find I am exactly one hundred pounds away from my goal weight.

This means I have lost 31 pounds since 6 Feb this year.  I am proud of myself.  At times it's been hard to stay motivated, especially when measurements have fluctuated so wildly.

But I have done it.  Slowly, but surely, and with no gimmicks of fad diets.  The main thing I have discovered on this journey is that portion control is key to getting me back where I want to be.

I feel healthier, and I am learning to love myself again.  It has been a long time since I even LIKED me, let alone LOVED.

When the Echo of Boots Fades

It happened.  He left.  Every time is hard, but this was especially brutal.  Only on the second leg of his journey, and we both already sound like spent shadows of ourselves...

The conversation is already awkward and tiring; it is punctuated by his broken-voiced apologies, and my futile attempts to stifle my frustrated and angry sobs.

I dread going to bed tonight.  I know he won't be there to annoy me with his snoring, to lie and say that he is awake when I just caught him dozing off instead of watching TV.

I miss him so much already.

The snowstorm I asked God for failed to materialize, and so, after a slight delay, he left.  And I am left cursing the brutal efficiency with which the Army operates, except when it comes to returning him to me.

So Long, Farewell...

With leave, comes the ending of happiness, and the beginning of the masquerade...this is the part where I pretend everything is fine when I really want to die inside.

I am going to miss him soo much.  And just like last time, I don't know when I will see him again.

To Kill a Mockingbird

I finally found our what has been happening to my cherry tomatoes.  It seems a certain cheeky chap has been snacking on them. 

He has been treating my porch like his own private salad bar.  In front of me, he helped himself to the  reddest tomatoes on the vine!

Later, my son told me that he saw the mockingbird perched on some of my strawberries.  The nerve of that bird!

Rest easy readers; despite the title of this post, I have no intention of killing him.  I just hope he leaves me and my family some fruit to enjoy.

Mine! All Mine!

This is what all the excitement is about. I love this crazy man. This is why I can't stop thinking of how much I am going to miss him when he goes. I hate being away from this man. Ever since I was fifteen, he has been my everything.

He makes me smile when I am sad, he makes me want to keep going when I no longer have the strength to go on. He has made of my life the most beautiful paradise, and he makes me look forward to every moment we have together.

Sometimes, even a goofy girl can luck out. I certainly did!

I love you, Tony!

Why Isn't It Enough?

I am sitting on my kitchen floor as I write this.  I am nursing my coffee while I launch myself into an uncomfortable introspection.  Tony has been here for the past several days, and though these days have been paradise, I find myself thinking that time is melting together, that it's racing toward the inevitable conclusion of my happiness...

I should be happy; after all, it's been a very long time since we have last seen each other.  An eternity has passed without his eyes for me to lose myself in.  I should be happy, but I'm not.  Not completely.

My mind keepsq harping on the departure.  The one that will rip my soul out by the roots and leave my shattered heart in pieces on the airport floor.  He will trample those pieces unknowingly...his boots will grind them down like so much gravel with each step he takes away from me.

When he leaves, as I know he must, I have no idea when I will see him again.  I am lonely, tired, and afraid.  I am afraid he will see this damn weakness in me and despise me for it...or worse, that he would feel bad because I am a sniveling idiot.  A spoiled child.

I want to be happy with what I have been given.  I want to enjoy his presence, but if left alone, my mind wanders to thoughts of the conclusion of his stay.  Truth is, I don't want to let him go. 

I miss everything about him.  Even the incredibly annoying stuff.  I must find a way to make my peace with the realities of my current circumstances.  I must find a way to keep going when I feel I have nothing more to give.