Gaming and Gender Issues

I recently started playing a new MMORPG called Crystal Saga. The game mechanics are complicated, the environments are beautiful and it enables competitive and cooperative play. Sounds great, right? I was playing the game the other day when an important topic came up that instantly attracted my attention.

There was a lively discussion brewing in world chat about vanquishing bosses and lesser players. One player, whom I shall refer to as Player X in this post, contended that using the term, “rape” in the context of defeating bosses and lesser/unskilled players was harmless and when used in gaming context, a perfectly acceptable term.

Some players immediately piled on Player X, decrying his use of the term as offensive and trivializing a traumatizing event that has impacted many lives. Some players hurled insults at Player X over his continued insistence that the term was acceptable. Other players attempted to compromise; they attempted to suggest alternate forms of expression that were less charged, and alternate forms of expressing the satisfaction that comes with defeating the impossible boss that has excoriated you the other million times you have tried to go against it.

I watched as the debate unfolded, seeing it become organized along gender lines. Males tended to agree with Player X, and said female gamers were being overly sensitive and narrow-minded. Female players asserted that while everyone has a right to free speech, Player X was simply being asked to find a different way of expressing himself without offending. Player X refused this request, and continued to state he was fine with the term and would continue to use it.

Player X was then muted and ignored by many of the female, higher-level gamers of the group, and the debate ended. Everyone began to get back to the business of leveling up characters and fighting through dungeons. Everyone except me.

I began to think about Player X's actions and the reactions to his actions. Being a rape survivor myself, I thought about what his usage of the term in such an offhand manner meant to me. For me, it's not about whether or not I thought his usage of the term was appropriate or flippant; it's about the fact that this word does not define me, and his casual usage of it does not make me any less of a survivor or any less of a person.

If someone chooses to make an asshat of themselves, we have the option of trying to persuade them to see an alternate option, or we have the option to excise their malignancy from our midst through the use of mute buttons and ignore features. It all boils down to what option works better for us as individuals.

As for me, I'm glad I was in a position to see this debate unfold. Female gamers are often a marginalized minority in the gaming community, so this was an especially significant moment to me. We have struggled to be let into this boy's club, but we will not be denied. We are here. And, we're not leaving.

Aerogarden Report

I am happy to report that I have several seedlings beginning to show through my Aerogarden domes. I had doubts about the Genovese Basil, but it's coming up. I will post some pictures as soon as I can. The thyme and dill seem to be coming up as well, but the mint seems to be giving me trouble again this year. Growing mint from seed is a really hard thing to do and it's often very unrewarding and fruitless. Mint doesn't breed true from seed, so it often takes several generations when growing by seed to find a plant with optimum taste and other factors, such as leaf and seed production. I only keep trying because I'm stubborn. Well, very stubborn...,

The jury is still out on whether I will see any Lemon Basil this year, but I hope so. Last year's plants were so leafy and aromatic. I have to buy some soil to set up my raised garden beds but I have a few new types of peppers I'll be trying this year as well as some salad greens and spinach.

Planting Season!

I started up my Aerogarden 6 today with a selection of aromatic herbs I can't wait to cook with. I have Thyme, Genovese Basil, Lemon Basil, Mint, Dill, and Oregano. I think I will be planting some salad greens in my Aerogarden 7. I love growing as much of my produce as I can. It gives me a real sense of accomplishment knowing what I am putting on my kids' plates, and knowing that it's healthy and chemical free. In the meantime, here are some pictures from my wildflower garden in my front yard.

The First Day

Mom spent her first full day back at home today, and it was surprisingly pleasant. We listened to one of my favorite Putumayo CDs, one I bought at Earthbound Trading because it reminded me of her and she enjoyed it quite a bit.

After we heard the CD, I put on a Russell Peters comedy special and we both laughed quite a bit. I managed to get quite a bit of laundry done and folded. Mom told me that my sister mentioned that I was "ghetto" because I own a set of wooden TV trays. I'm sorry, I didn't realize being practical was such a crime as well as an indicator of socioeconomic status. This from the person who hangs out with the most festering pieces of human garbage the state of Florida has to offer...

I try not to go through life hating anyone or holding grudges, but at this point, I really do hate certain individuals.

A Moment of Weakness

It looks like Mom was able to get her stuff out of my sister's house safely. Now we are waiting on a discharge date from the hospital. I'm not to sure I'm thrilled about having her back, but I couldn't leave her there after everything that's happened. Mom says she is getting out of the hospital in a few hours. I miss T. I wish he was here. Somehow, I always feel stronger when he is with me. He's kind of a good luck charm, with inspiration thrown in.

In other news, I am trying out my laptop, but I have discovered a serious problem; it seems that it is not accepting the power cable. It does not seem to want to charge my computer. I don't know what to do. It says the status is plugged in, but not charging. I finally get the old girl started and now this. Can't anything ever be easy?

Saturday Soap Opera

Mom's back in the hospital again. Her blood pressure is through the roof. I guess all the problems with my sister are getting to her. She told me today that she was afraid for her life. T said she should come back to the house under those circumstances, but I am scared that if she does, things will go back to being the way they were.

T and I have been fighting quite a bit lately, especially about my family. My mom doesn't have the greatest track record, either. She has a tendency to be controlling and manipulative, and before she left, she didn't want to do any of the things she knew she needed to be doing for her health. I don't want to enable her to be detrimental to herself.

I also don't want any more damage to me and T's relationship. It's been seven years of hell with mom in the picture, especially with T's penchant for holding grudges...I understand that the grudges T has against my mother result out of a sense of loyalty to me, but that doesn't make it any easier to take when I get caught in the middle.

Setbacks

Lately, it seems that my whole universe has been flipped on its ear. I think it started going to hell when Danny died. I went even further into depression and my diet and exercise commitment suffered greatly. I am only now starting to feel better emotionally, but now the arthritis in my knee is flaring. I am going to try to work out regardless.

I haven't really had a chance to do much gardening yet, and my amaryllis was coming up nicely until the caterpillars discovered them. Now they are in pieces. Literally.

The poppies are coming along nicely, and I have a slew of beautiful visitors beating a path to my front door. It cheers me up to see them. I have several different species of butterflies coming to the flowerbeds. I wish I knew what this one is..it's so pretty!

Here is a close up of the poppies: The poppies are slightly windblown thanks to our lovely Texas wind, but I think their coloring is absolutely gorgeous.

As far as my relationship with my sister, I have come to the realization that the only course of action is to amputate that relationship. She and I are very different people, and I am at a point in my life where I can no longer tolerate the stress and negativity of being around her. This relationship has become toxic to me, and so, I'm giving up. I'm tired of being dragged into situations that I do not want to be involved in.

This weekend, I am planning on starting up the Aerogardens with some herbs and vegetables, but I am saving one of the Aerogardens to plant with flowers. I haven't decided what kind of flowers yet. Any ideas? Leave your flower suggestions in the comments. My oldest son is trying to get me to plant bluebonnets, but I didn't have any luck with them or the forget me nots I tried to grow last year. I also learned last year that growing mint from seed is a very frustrating and ultimately fruitless experience.