SNAFUs and Gratitude

The Army has struck again and has done its best to make me scramble. T finally got a leave date yesterday, (even though we requested our dates in April)and of course, airfare right now is ridiculously expensive for a one way ticket. I really hate it when the green machine does that. It makes it difficult to budget and difficult to plan family time. Still, I am incredibly happy and grateful he's coming home. As an added bonus, he should be home for Father's Day.

Being an Army family almost gurantees that special occasions will be missed. We have missed alot of them over the years; some have been easier to replicate than others. This last Christmas, I found mistletoe on sale atthe dollar store. I bought a few sprigs and I hung them on top of the doors anyways. When he came home for R&R, we still shared a mistletoe kiss.

We used to have a lot of movie nights befor he left, where we would pile up on the bed with the boys and make popcorn and just be together. So we are definitely doing that when he comes home.

I'm so looking forward to assuming our normal routine, even if it's for awhile. I miss making food for him, I miss us all being together. I miss going to sleep with him and waking up to him in the morning. I even miss all the things that used to annoy me about him, and I find myself wishing he was annoying me, because that would mean he would be here with me.

I think that one of te blessings of being an Army wife is thatthis life forces you to really evaluate your priorities, and really value someone completely; their good and bad characteristics.

Traveling Dreams

One of the things I have always wanted to do is travel. It's something I always talk about with my husband. Since he's in the Army he has been all over the world. He tells me that being in the Army means traveling all over the world, and usually only getting to see the inside of airports. This has not dampened my desire to do the whole tourist thing in the least. Below is a list of all the place I would like to visit, in no particular order:

1. Egypt

2. Italy

3. Spain

4. Japan (I especially want to go to Tokyo Station to see the statue of Hachiko*)

This is a list in progress. I want to see Hachi because I have an Akita, (His name is Maximus) and because after the movie, I needed therapy. But then again, I cry watching "Benji," and "Where the Red Fern Grows," reduces me to a blubbery, hysterical mess. I have been told not to watch "Marley & Me" without my husband or a warehouse-sized package of tissues, so I haven't yet as he's been gone. Enough about me! What places would you like to visit?

The Gulf of Solitude

Saying goodbye, as the song says, is never an easy thing. This is especially true when you have become accustomed to certain constants in your life that do not change; these become anchors in an otherwise tempestous life. For me, it was the journey of becoming a wife and mother that became my routine. I became more and more involved in supporting my husband and his career and my children. The days passed by, and I found myself getting comfortable in my life...it seems to be the law of nature that such constancy is never destined to endure for long. The Army came knocking, and a hole was blown right through the middle of my bliss.

My husband has had to PCS for a while, and this has forced me to double my role. This is not unusual for an Army wife; it's part of the job.

That I miss him and long for him to be here is not the hardest thing to imagine; the most frightening thing is discovering that he and my kids have become such a part of me that somehow I have lost my sense of self. I find myself forced to become independent once more and I am frightened, because all the interests I once cultivated and all the things that once defined me have since become a barren wasteland.

I have decided to try to awaken who and what I once was; I have started this blog in an effort to grant this process some expediency and legitimacy.